Director: David Gelb Starring: Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Donald Glover, Evan Peters Writers: Luke Dawson & Jeremy Slater | 1.5/5 The Lazarus Effect What can I say about The Lazarus Effect? Turns out, not much, and even less if you want positive feedback. Imagine this movie hybrid in your head. Imagine a film that is a mix of The Shining, Lucy, and Frankenstein and features all of your favorite TV stars. Now suck about three-fourths of the excitement out of that crazy mix of potential. That’s The Lazarus Effect; a horribly written, derivative piece of PG-13, 21st century “horror.” Everything about this production is at the bare minimum. If there was ever a bottle-film, this is it. I have seen twenty-minute episodes of The Office with more set changes than this. The scares never deviate from the tired quiet-to-loud jumps that have successfully dulled our senses over the past decade. Literally, every aspect of the production screams “just enough to get by.” Why, then, did screenwriters Luke Dawson and Jeremy Slater overcomplicate this plot so much? Christian woman - we know this because she wears a cross necklace - is raised from the dead and scares a lot people. Everything you need to know is in the title; but before we even get our seats warmed, we are having to ingest a whole heap of science goop that just drains right out of the other ear. I do not need any of that. If you can set a spooky atmosphere, I could care less if I am convinced that the science is legit. Pondering back over the paragraph’s original question, I’m wondering something else: why did this need two screenwriters? |
Surely two screenwriters can come up with more stimulating dialogue than “I don’t care what her name is. I’d tap that.” Ugh…come on. Try harder. I will not even waste my time typing out any more, but believe I have a whole notebook page of lines just like that. What is worse than hearing this stuff spoken is watching actors I immensely enjoy speaking it. Community’s Donald Glover (AKA Childish Gambino)? House’s Olivia Wilde (now a burgeoning film actress in her own right)? American Horror Story’s Evan Peters? Once Upon a Time’s Sarah Bolger? Most disappointing of all might be Mark Duplass, who has made his name already creating and starring in one of 2015’s best shows, Togetherness. Who convinced these guys to board this sinking ship?
Even though the dialogue is a mix of scientific babble and juvenile sentiment, I cannot say I was underwhelmed by the actual performances. The actors I just mentioned have all proven themselves worthy, but they are given nothing to work with. Even though this is a disappointed for director David Gelb, following his impressive 2011 documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi, I must commend an intriguingly cool visual style he adds to the film - even if some of his images are ripped straight from other films like The Shining. Everyone does their best to juice life into this corpse of a movie, but there is no reviving this Lazarus.
At the end of the day, there is one fatal blow that no amount of creative cinematography or decent acting can fix. This movie is not scary, plain and simple. It is not even the script; I have seen films with C-grade scripts that still make me jump. I have seen a lot of scary movies in my day, but I think this is the first one (ever) that failed to startle me a single time. I’m serious; not a single flinch. How can you be scared when you see every scare coming from a mile away? Literally, you can actually see the director setting up each predetermined jump in. If you know it’s coming and the exact second at which it will come, the fear is gone.
After doing a bit of research on the film, there is only one thing I came across that truly freaked me out. Jeremy Slater, one of the two screenwriters, scribed the new Fantastic Four reboot. You see what he has done with Duplass and Wilde. Imagine this guy doing the same thing to Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller. That is the one and only fear born out of The Lazarus Project.
Even though the dialogue is a mix of scientific babble and juvenile sentiment, I cannot say I was underwhelmed by the actual performances. The actors I just mentioned have all proven themselves worthy, but they are given nothing to work with. Even though this is a disappointed for director David Gelb, following his impressive 2011 documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi, I must commend an intriguingly cool visual style he adds to the film - even if some of his images are ripped straight from other films like The Shining. Everyone does their best to juice life into this corpse of a movie, but there is no reviving this Lazarus.
At the end of the day, there is one fatal blow that no amount of creative cinematography or decent acting can fix. This movie is not scary, plain and simple. It is not even the script; I have seen films with C-grade scripts that still make me jump. I have seen a lot of scary movies in my day, but I think this is the first one (ever) that failed to startle me a single time. I’m serious; not a single flinch. How can you be scared when you see every scare coming from a mile away? Literally, you can actually see the director setting up each predetermined jump in. If you know it’s coming and the exact second at which it will come, the fear is gone.
After doing a bit of research on the film, there is only one thing I came across that truly freaked me out. Jeremy Slater, one of the two screenwriters, scribed the new Fantastic Four reboot. You see what he has done with Duplass and Wilde. Imagine this guy doing the same thing to Michael B. Jordan and Miles Teller. That is the one and only fear born out of The Lazarus Project.