Director: Gil Kenan Starring: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris Writer: David Lindsay-Abaire | 2/5 Poltergeist This week in our unofficial segment “Remakes, Reboots, and Sequels”: Poltergeist, the tale of a haunted house buried on top of a burial ground. When talking about remakes, reboots, and sequels, we usually ignore the important questions like “how did the new film reinterpret the material?” or “how does the technique used set it apart as a standalone film?” No, we tend to ask dumb questions like “was it better than the original?” Well, here’s another question for you: Why fix what isn’t broken? The original, Steven Spielberg-penned 1982 Poltergeist was a great movie, if not a complete classic. It had stock characters like the creepy younger sibling who talks to herself and the frightened middle child that no one believes, but It at least had the element of surprise and the new factor. Poltergeist circa 2015 lacks both of these qualities, and it pays dearly for it. While it isn’t a 100% shot-for-shot remake like the 1998 Psycho, it rarely ever deviates from the type of scares the original offered to us in ’82. If anything, Director Gil Kenan (Monster House) takes the original formula and amps it up to eleven. One scary clown turns into a room of scary clowns, several cheap jump scares turns into a scare-per-minute setup, and, with a little help from 21st century CG, a whole demon dimension - more on that later. |
I find myself not wanting to give backstory. Seeing as how this is the fourth big-budget Poltergeist movie, you should be pretty caught up. If not, you have already wasted too much time reading this review; go watch the original. A family is haunted by a violent, agitated hoard of ghosts that takes one of the children captive. There, that is all you are getting from me. Because the new film rarely takes creative liberty with the story, you should not need my help.
When Kenan actually does take some creative initiative, you almost wish he hadn’t have. Like Jaws, another Spielberg thriller, the original Poltergeist kept the monster manifestations to a minimum. What is hidden is, after all, more scary than what is seen. Kenan, either a nonbeliever in this sentiment or simply too overeager to set himself apart, visually creates a whole new dimension of the dead, welcoming us past the infamous static-y TV screen. Boy, is it underwhelming. With the Evil Dead mastermind Sam Raimi in the producer's chair, you would think there would be more practical gross-out effects to revel in. Aside from one scene, where the oldest daughter gets sucked into a puddle of black mud, the effects are phony, sterilized, and, most damaging, not scary.
Poltergeist’s one redeeming quality is its endlessly enjoyable cast, led by the dynamite pair of Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt. Rockwell’s Eric, a loving dad down on his luck, and DeWitt’s Amy, a stay-at-home mom who dreams of writing, feel as real as any of the characters the two performers have ever played. An amateur script from David Lindsay-Abaire does not give them much to work with, but they surely rise to the occasion and make Poltergeist much more enjoyable than it could have been. I have mentioned the way that even the original film is unoriginal in its characterizations of the children, and while the remake is more of the same, Kennedi Clements and Kyle Catlett radiate a likable screen presence as the two youngest children. As for Saxon Sharbino’s Kendra, the oldest, self-obsessed daughter, I could have used less of her. Jared Harris also stops by for some fun(?) as a median/TV-personality.
In a perfect world, I would not be worrying about which characters work - the parents - and which don’t - whatever Jared Harris is. I would simply not have to watch needless remakes of 1980’s movies that were not begging to be remade. But we do not live in a perfect world; we live in a greedy one, where a studio exec can bank off of established audiences instead of actually creating something new. See you in two weeks in our next installment of “Remakes, Reboots, and Sequels,” where we will get the double shot of the Entourage movie and Insidious 3.
When Kenan actually does take some creative initiative, you almost wish he hadn’t have. Like Jaws, another Spielberg thriller, the original Poltergeist kept the monster manifestations to a minimum. What is hidden is, after all, more scary than what is seen. Kenan, either a nonbeliever in this sentiment or simply too overeager to set himself apart, visually creates a whole new dimension of the dead, welcoming us past the infamous static-y TV screen. Boy, is it underwhelming. With the Evil Dead mastermind Sam Raimi in the producer's chair, you would think there would be more practical gross-out effects to revel in. Aside from one scene, where the oldest daughter gets sucked into a puddle of black mud, the effects are phony, sterilized, and, most damaging, not scary.
Poltergeist’s one redeeming quality is its endlessly enjoyable cast, led by the dynamite pair of Sam Rockwell and Rosemarie DeWitt. Rockwell’s Eric, a loving dad down on his luck, and DeWitt’s Amy, a stay-at-home mom who dreams of writing, feel as real as any of the characters the two performers have ever played. An amateur script from David Lindsay-Abaire does not give them much to work with, but they surely rise to the occasion and make Poltergeist much more enjoyable than it could have been. I have mentioned the way that even the original film is unoriginal in its characterizations of the children, and while the remake is more of the same, Kennedi Clements and Kyle Catlett radiate a likable screen presence as the two youngest children. As for Saxon Sharbino’s Kendra, the oldest, self-obsessed daughter, I could have used less of her. Jared Harris also stops by for some fun(?) as a median/TV-personality.
In a perfect world, I would not be worrying about which characters work - the parents - and which don’t - whatever Jared Harris is. I would simply not have to watch needless remakes of 1980’s movies that were not begging to be remade. But we do not live in a perfect world; we live in a greedy one, where a studio exec can bank off of established audiences instead of actually creating something new. See you in two weeks in our next installment of “Remakes, Reboots, and Sequels,” where we will get the double shot of the Entourage movie and Insidious 3.